Next up on my laugh-out-loud list, in the style of Garrison Keillor…

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide
who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and
seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor
of or against the need for a light bulb; however, if in your own
journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine.
You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about
your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next
month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore
a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent,
three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths
to luminescence.

Methodists:  Undetermined.  Whether your light is  bright, dull,
or completely out, you are loved- you can  be a light bulb, turnip
bulb, or tulip bulb.  Church wide lighting service is planned  for
Sunday, October 14.  Bring bulb of  your  choice and a covered dish.

Lutherans:  None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish:  What’s a light bulb?